I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize