We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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