When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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