I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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