Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
