If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
