he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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