That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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