So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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