she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
