Already got asked if we're dating
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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