So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
