Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
