i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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