i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
