I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm like, not good at living.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
