woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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