i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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