Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
