I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
