i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
