We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
