Whod you bang
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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