Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
