Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
