eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize