I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
