windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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