btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
