Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you never un-have a 4some
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
