I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize