They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
