is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
