Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize