Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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