Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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