You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
