Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize