Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize