Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You were trust falling into bushes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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