She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize