I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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