im having a threesome with these popsicles
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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