That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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