Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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