don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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