i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
