White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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