Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love how my cats smell like pot.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
