When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
