i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
