I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
