I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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