take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
