my mouth tastes like poor choices
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
