Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
