i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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