it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
