have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
