So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
