what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
