i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
