p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
